laremy.sg

Janet picks up her fortune cookie,
Then puts it down, turns to her friend:
“Don’t bank too much on youth. Your rookie
Season is drawing to an end.
John, things we would – when young – not think of,
Start to make sense when, on the brink of
Thirtydom, we pause to scan
What salves and salads cannot ban,
The earliest furrows on our faces,
The loneliness within our souls,
Our febrile clawing for mean goals,
Our programmed cockfights and rat races,
Our dreary dignity, false pride,
And hearts stored in formaldehyde.

– Vikram Seth, The Golden Gate

No worries – no anxiety. Just reading a very good book and felt those were awesome lines.

Still somewhat upset at the irregular regularity at which items in my own apartment go missing…

Nevertheless, I’m not going to let that spoil my day. Because today, I am bond free!

Technically, though, but still – it’s good to be free! *makes whale sounds*

While I was on my way to work, I saw an old man cycling down Potong Pasir Ave 1 with this huge-ass emerald-coloured parrot perched on his handlebars.

It was such a delightful sight, and I regret not taking a photo of it.

Nevertheless, I give you MAX PERRY instead as an EQUIVALENT substitute:

The Laremy Lee version.

1. Human beings are animals.
   That’s why you can learn a lot about humanity by watching Dog Whisperer. That’s also why we need rules and boundaries to maintain order, especially when…
2. Human beings are like currents – they follow the path of least resistance.
   Not everyone is altruistic enough to do that which takes effort to be done, hence the solution in (1).
3. Every child is a reflection of her/his parents. Similarly, every student is a reflection of her/his teacher(s).
   A lackadaisical child/student is the product of lackadaisical parents/teachers.
4. From (3), the way a child/student speaks is the exact same way her/his parents/teachers speak.
   A polite, eloquent child/student is the product of polite and eloquent parents/teachers. Ill-mannered, uncouth and impolite children/students…
   
   By the way, not to belabour the point, but this is also why the Speak Good English Movement will never succeed – because it addresses the wrong target audience.
5. In most situations, less is more.
   That’s why I’m ending here.

What are some of your hard truths?

Also, if anyone can design/customise a picture for me (i.e. include my picture as well) based on the original text, I’d be very grateful!

NOTE: I was contemplating publishing this in the school newsletter, but I decided this was the better platform.

The poem stems from something I’ve been thinking about for a while, because I’ve wanted to find a way to thank my students and wish them well.

I started writing the poem last week in the midst of marking and all that jazz, but I’ve decided that the poem is done and it’s time to put it up.

Last but not least, “piglet” and other porcine-related words are figurative and not literal, and is in no way meant to demean or denigrate – I thought I had better make this clear, just in case, and I apologise if I inadvertently offend anyone.

–

Piglet Race
By Laremy Lee

For all my piglet children.

I see you all bounding toward me
with the innocence of bacon,
the look in your eyes squealing:
in another life, I could’ve been char siew.

Your heads held up in earnest,
your snouts pointed to the sky,
you radiate pink with promise and youth
as you race toward the future, on a path

you’ve often been prodded along.
Remember, though, before I let you go:
life must be as easy as a piglet race
but not as simple as one.

Fly like the wind. Leap
as high as you can, over
hurdles set out like nets.
Look cute while doing so.

But wait for fellow piglets if
they pause. Help them if they falter.
We are as much competitors
as we are comrades-in-trotters.

Fortunately (or unfortunately),
like Fleance, you will soon flee
leaving me behind as Time flies
to pick my pocket once again,

as it did me when I was a piglet like you;
as it will you when you are a boar like me.
Another set of piglets will round the bend,
bounding toward me with all their might,

even going so far as to – who knows? –
one day, also bound toward you,
till your heart beams and your smile says,
“That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.”